Archive for April 10th, 2009

The Obama administration, is rumored to be planning an apology to Somali pirates who have been active in the Gulf of Aden. The President,  who established himself on his recent European tour as the great apologist for America’s policies including, its use of the atomic bomb to end the second world war, is apparently considering an apology to Somali pirates for the past economic and military excesses of America which,  per the Administration has resulted in a global economic imbalance,  thereby creating an environment that has forced the oppressed Islamic pirates of Somalia into piracy.

The administration will propose that Congress enact the federal mariners act which will levy a 15% federal surtax on all marine purchases including boats, motors etc. to fund the Somalian Piracy Fund which will redistribute the fund to Somalia in what will be called equalization payments. The Obama administration purportedly, will ask representatives of the Somali Piracy Liberation Front to endorse a treaty which will prohibit Somali Pirates from engaging in acts of Piracy on American flag ships and American allies that contribute to the fund.

Representatives of the Somali Piracy Liberation Front had been reluctant to engage in acts of Piracy against American flag ships until the President’s recent European tour. Upon hearing hearing about the conciliatory tone of the President and his attempts to ingratiate himself with Islamic community the Pirates elected to test the response of America. It is also rumored that for several weeks prior to this most recent act of Piracy the Somali Piracy Liberation Front has been in contact with the Obama administration seeking a bail out given the decline in the global economy.

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